He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
