i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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