just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize