Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
