Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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