just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
