just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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