there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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