so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
