you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
