so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
how does that bad decision feel?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
