i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
