the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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