Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
