omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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