New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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