Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Duck Duck Cougar?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
