people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
