dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
