i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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