Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
