I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
