he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
