You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
