bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
