piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.