Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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