Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
