He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she smelled like a LAN party
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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