You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
