omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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