pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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