you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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