CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize