we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
