okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
