my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
