worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
