he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
