He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
