We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
