do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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