It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
