Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
