It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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