There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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