So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
