I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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