i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
