New invention idea: vibrating tampons
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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