I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
