DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
