I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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