There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
