I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize