Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
