Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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