everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Come on in and take your pants off
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