my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize