i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
