his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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