Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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