dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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