I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
