Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
