McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
