I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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