what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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